RSS

Tag Archives: Clubbing

Extreme Feats of Musical Bad-assery #4 the Hula

Hope you brought your appetite, because you and yo' crew are about to get SERVED (some delicious spam)

I’m not much of a clubber. I don’t go clubbing, dance the night away, get slizzerd, nor can I relate to anything Ke$ha has sung about, ever. I’m not condemning it, it’s just not me. Closest I got was a Ratdog concert in the front of a giant grooving mob of hippies pushed against a barrier, but that is neither here or there. I have however, listened to lyrics and have heard popular dance and hip-hop tunes dealing with the lifestyle, and from this I feel I am comfortable with how that club culture presents itself. I have also watched the South Park episode with the “dance off” with a rival dance crew, so I am pretty sure I can safely say that in comparison with a true dance culture, the western club scene is empty of any real power (except the roofies. Powerful, powerful roofies).

This is, of course, when compared to a true dance-culture, a culture that embraces the full power of dance and has elevated up to a pinnacle of social and mystical power. I am talking about the native population of Hawaii. Now, again I reaffirm I do not know the modern attitude towards dance that most 19 year-olds have, but I’m assuming that “hula” is not in the top-5 list of badass power-dances, but it could not be more true. Predating western discovery, occupation, and westernization of Hawaii, the native tribes used dancing as a substitute for outright combat and warfare.

Hula Hoop

pictured: WMD

What today in a club is a dance-off when someone disrespects you and your crew, had a much more amazing predecessor. There was so much mystical power associated with their holy texts, and their vocal and physical expressions, that rival tribes would demonstrate their superior mastery of the magic powers by dancing and chanting better than the other tribe. The tribe danced better had more magical power, and therefore obviously could whoop more butt than the other one could, should it come to fisticuffs. It never did. No one would dare cross the winning tribe, but to dance again.

Having people [sic]“get out the way of me and my crew crew crew crew” so you can do what you [sic] “do do do do” can at best get you beat up in the alley, or branded a king douche. Having glitter all on your eyes and ripped stocking in a place where the freaks all come to dance and “take it off’ sounds like a recipe for rape. No lands are won and lost, no slaves are taken and freed, no precious resources are trading hands, and no governments rise or fall in a club, but in ancient Hawaii when you and your “crew” got mad props and respect from dancing, it meant something much more than our western black eyes, hangovers, and special victim units. It meant you were THE big Kahuna. Now that’s what it really means to have to “represent”.

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

 
%d bloggers like this: